Now that I have time to write, I want to write about how to boost your self-confidence because it’s something we all struggle with from time to time.
Sometimes you find yourselves in a situation where your self-confidence is at the bottom of the floor right before an important event.
What do you do then?
You might only have 10 minutes before an audition, a job interview, an exam, a scène on stage, speaking for a thousand people at a live event, and you are freaking out.
Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit – E.E. Cummings
In this blog, I will give you some tips and insides on how to boost your self-confidence quickly.
All methods I name, I work with myself. They help me in the heat of the moment.
People sometimes tell me: “You always seem so confident!” Yeah…well, I work hard for that! Every day.
You have to understand that self-confidence isn’t something we are born with. There is no one I know who is always confident! It’s something we create. And we can do that at any given time, also right before the lights hit the stage.
I look down at this picture so you can’t quite see my face, but I remember this day so well! 2007, I was 21 and I had never felt so confident in my life. I could take on the world! I treasure this picture taken by ©Hana Brádková to remind me of that feeling.
So here we go!
*Be Kind
Yes, I know that it’s maybe not the first one you would expect to read, but it is true.
If you only have 10 minutes before something important as listed above, your self-confidence will never ever appear when you project your nerves and stress at the people around you.
Your self-confidence will only get lower because they for sure won’t like your behaviour and you’ll feel like shit for snapping at them. Being kind in a situation of stress also has to do with self-control, so in the end, will make you feel better and calmer.
*Speak slowly
I love this one because it really helps.
If someone comes in and asks you something while you are totally stressed out, tremble with fear and really wished there was another planet you could emigrate to, speak slowly to that person when answering the question.
And maybe even ask a question back, still speaking slowly.
This way you will have control over your breath, over your choice of words and the amount. And you for a moment it will take your focus off whatever it is you feel unconfident about.
This will lower your level of stress.
Little back story: Inside the SFM (Six Figure Mentors) we all go through a 90-day video journey. We post a video every day inside our group for the whole community to see. And yes you really learn to speak slowly, also when you feel uncomfortable. Already after two weeks, my ability to speak clearly and properly about things grew. That gave me an enormous boost of self-confidence. Being able to explain something calmly and with the right choice of words…? That is power!
*Stand tall
I know you rather feel like crumbling inside the corner of your dressing room, or just go home and lie in bed to forget about all of it. But really do this one.
Stand tall. Force yourself to stand straight up. You can also try to reach the sky with your arms first, to stretch yourself straight.
It’s important that you stretch your groins. See the picture below. Your groins are probably quite stiff since you feel like shit with a lack of self-esteem. You tighten up towards the form of a ball.
Don’t let this happen.
Try to move your body in a confident way outwards. How would someone with a lot of confidence stand?
Look in the mirror and do the same. Do the Superman/woman pose.
I needed this before a super stressful performance in October 2018. I felt how my body just didn’t want to stand tall at all and at any given moment it would shrink. With all my energy, I had to literally force myself to do my stretches and make myself stand tall or I would not have made it through the show.
*Smile – Take a selfie
“WTF Meneka?”
Well, I didn’t say you have to post it. Just do it.
Smiling makes us feel better anyway. So Take That Selfie!
* You are enough
Try to think positive about yourself, and with that I mean think about your past successes, because for sure you have some.
Think about the people who like to be at your side. Think about the times of joy when you didn’t do anything else than just being yourself.
This creates a new belief system in your head.
The system of: I believe I am good enough to pull this off.
With that idea, you clearly show yourself that you have the potential to go in and rock it! Whatever that is.
And then what happens?
You take action!
This is the way guys: Believe in your Potential so you Take Action which will lead to good Results which will then strengthen your Belief.
The circle is round, isn’t it? This is definitely a change in mindset which I got from Tony Robins. I will put his video here.
I seriously know this one and many other of his speeches by heart. I listen to it over and over again when needed.
Note: Results are meant to be your own results. When you have a third party judging you, yeah you can’t do anything about their opinion. But if you feel you did a good job, then this IS a good result and worth believing in.
I hope my tips will help you the next time you feel your confidence is dropping.
This is one of the things I learned to speak openly about from my mentor Stuart Ross. If you want to know more about him, his belief system and values click the link below. It will lead you to my business minisite where, if you scroll to the bottom, you’ll find a couple of video’s where he talks about 4 things that are very important for everyone to create the best life. –>Read, Watch and Learn more about all of this!<–